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Carol Anne Stone, 85, of Brevard, passed away on Sunday, February 26, 2023. A native of Pennsauken, NJ, she was the daughter of the late Charles and Eliza Lewis Haddon. In addition to her parents, she was also preceded in death by her sister, Ruth Trams, and her brothers: John Haddon, Jack Haddon, Charles “Mike” Haddon, Robert Haddon, Wilson “Pip” Haddon, Albert Haddon, and Donald Haddon; and her son-in-law Michael Kendall.
Her survivors include her loving husband of 64 years, William Walker Stone; their children: Cheryl Ann Stone and William Walker Stone, Jr. (Carol); and grandchildren Kristin Stone and Bryan Stone; and her brother James "Jimmy" Haddon and many nieces and nephews including her God-son, Steven Haddon.
In lieu of flowers, please make memorial gifts to The Alzheimer's Association, 31 College Place Suite D-320, Asheville, NC 28801
I want to pass the following poem along to other caregivers who may find find themselves in a similar place as they care for their loved one.
A POEM - If I Get Dementia
by Catherine (Cat) Becker, MSMR
If I get dementia, I’d like my family to hang this wish list up on the wall where I live. I want them to remember these things.
If I get dementia, I want my friends and family to embrace my reality. If I think my spouse is still alive, or if I think we’re visiting my parents for dinner, let me believe those things. I’ll be much happier for it.
If I get dementia, don’t argue with me about what is true for me versus what is true for you.
If I get dementia, and I am not sure who you are, do not take it personally. My timeline is confusing to me.
If I get dementia, and can no longer use utensils, do not start feeding me. Instead, switch me to a finger-food diet, and see if I can still feed myself.
If I get dementia, and I am sad or anxious, hold my hand and listen. Do not tell me that my feelings are unfounded.
If I get dementia, I don’t want to be treated like a child. Talk to me like the adult that I am.
If I get dementia, I still want to enjoy the things that I’ve always enjoyed. Help me find a way to exercise, read, and visit with friends.
If I get dementia, ask me to tell you a story from my past.
If I get dementia, and I become agitated, take the time to figure out what is bothering me.
If I get dementia, treat me the way that you would want to be treated.
If I get dementia, make sure that there are plenty of snacks for me in the house. Even now if I don’t eat I get angry, and if I have dementia, I may have trouble explaining what I need.
If I get dementia, don’t talk about me as if I’m not in the room.
If I get dementia, don’t feel guilty if you cannot care for me 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. It’s not your fault, and you’ve done your best. Find someone who can help you, or choose a great new place for me to live.
If I get dementia, and I live in a dementia care community, please visit me often.
If I get dementia, don’t act frustrated if I mix up names, events, or places. Take a deep breath. It’s not my fault.
If I get dementia, make sure I always have my favorite music playing within earshot.
If I get dementia, and I like to pick up items and carry them around, help me return those items to their original places.
If I get dementia, don’t exclude me from parties and family gatherings.
If I get dementia, know that I still like receiving hugs or handshakes.
If I get dementia, remember that I am still the person you know and love.”
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